Our inbox is bursting with she-mails about the new development on America's Next Top Tranimal. It seems Tyra Franks has gone meta all over itself after allowing a tranimal contestant -- in its clear platform heels (Brooke Whoa-Man Collection, $8.69) and an extra crispy nylon tumbleweave (her own) -- to come trotting out of the fashion closet. This sheason will feature a contestant who identifies as "a woman born physically male."We were chomping at the bit when the head tranimal itself wrote in, gushing with joy about this mound-breaking moment.
Deer Shebizkit,
My mound be swellin wit pride and is almost as big as my fourhead. No wot I'm sayin? Iz tinglin' all over wit more excitemint than the tyme i got vaseline on sail at C-Town. No wot I'm sayin? We finally found a cuntestant i can relait to. I can show him how to tuck his biznss between hiz thighs, how to turn his Adam's apple into a Eve apricot and to give rim jobs better than Miss Jay at a fome party in 1989. Or better than Janiss Dickinbum used to doo at Studey Ho 69. Iz da troof! No wot I'm sayin? Here's hopin you watch the new season of Top Tranimal and root for onee of yo own. No wot I'm sayin?
Rearguards,
Trya Franks
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