The Twitchy and Snatchy Show!

Nicole Twitchy put on a fresh layer of skin to meet her lookalike cousin, Ana Reshkya. Later, the two shehorses noshed on microshrimp, amoebas and algae during an intimate lunch at the Ivy. After that, they were later spotted treading water at the Coral Room, sipping plankton cocktails and dancing to Phish.

From the Vault: Vintage Scruff

Back in 2003, Hilary Scruff, then a wee foal, decided to take her yearling sister, Hayleaf, to her first-ever red carpet event. As loyal as Black Beauty herself, Hilary watched over her awkward sis -- even brushing some oats off her snout (that's when this nifty pic was taken). But sadly, Hayleaf was not broken in yet. Startled by the flashing cameramen -- jockeying for the best shot of the starting line -- she reared up and knocked over a table. Poor lil' shebiscuit, she wasn't let past the velvet reins. But as we all know, Hayleaf soon received the finest training a young mare could want. And soon enough, she joined her sis in the winner's circle. Aww!

Tranimal Hunt!

Test your powers of tranimal detection with S&T's fun new game! To play, simply spot the tranimal out of a lineup of lookalikes.

Can you tell which of these inflated sex toys is the real Chestica Simpson? Leave your guesses in the comment section.

EXCLUSIVE: Seal & Heidi Klum's Sex Tape!!!

The Mane Attraction

We went on a fox hunt to find America's most gorgeous mane. We discovered up-and-jumper Ashley Clydesdale and asked how she keeps her horse hair so silky, shiny and full of bounce. Here are five mane rules for getting Ashley's hair:

1. Always wash after a vigorous trot.
2. Diet matters! On the set of High School Moo-sical, Ashley only snacked on carrots, whole grains (oats and hay) and cut up pieces of apple.
3. Brush your mane daily. Either do it yourself or ask your handler to groom you at least once a day.
4. Calcium will add shine. Try pony milk in the morning!
5. Sleep standing up. (That's Ashley's tip!)

We Told Julia Crotchburn a Joke

She liked it.

Brooke Back Mounting

File under shebiscuits...
File under tranimal...
Here at S&T, we love getting shemail. Today, our maleman Julia delivered a very special letter. See it below!

Deer Shebizkits and Tramnimals,

I am a big big big tramninal. I mean big. Like my mound could hav a pitcher on it. Aktually, right now there be a man on my mound throwing balls. No wot I'm sayin? Anyways I m a talk show ho, st. A big one. An like, I also ho, st a treality show. No wot I'm sayin? Usuallly I be the gurl givin out advise -- on everything from tumbleweaves to tranorexia and baby prostitots. I set them gurls right -- aiight? Butt diss time Imma needin sum help. My (big black) tranimal ass be is love wit a shebizkit!! Dats right, I be drankin dat pony milk, no wot i'm sayin? Imma put my snausage gravy on dem bizkits. Mmmm... fluffy. No wot I'm sayin? Now I gots to no: What happens when a tranimal and a shebizkit go for a ride, no wot I'm sayin?

Rearguards,
Tyra Franks

Well, Ms. Franks, we don't recommend that you saddle up and ride that pony without protection. Do you know what we're saying? When a shebiscuit and a tranimal mate, they can get pregnant and hatch a triscuit. Half tranimal, half shebiscuit... and all freaky. Some might say that our point of view is horse race-ist, but we had to take a stand. Only trashy tranimals like Brooke Whoa-man get involved in shebiscuit love. And she's unstable. Look at her here, jockeying for attention.

Thanks for riding in!
S&T