Tom Cruise Is So Hot Right Now

Blowing off steam while filming Valkyrie in Berlin, Tom Cruise hit a nearby karaoke bar and wowed the locals with his renditions of some traditional hits. Highway to the danger zone, indeed!

Introducing ... Camilla Parker Trolls

Is it an old woman? Is it a horse? Is it the future queen of England? You be the judge. (Hint: We're betting on horse.)

Amy Winehorse: 'They Tried to Make Me Go to Rehab'

"... and I said, 'Neigh, neigh, neigh!'"

EXCLUSIVE: Nicole Twitchy's SONOGRAM!

Nicole Twitchy has admitted she's pregnant and S&T brings you the exclusive first look at the star's unborn child, which she's having with Troll Madden. The she-horse released her first sonogram exlusively to S&T, saying, "I live in a fishbowl but I'm still so happy to share this experience with the world." It's already a rocky gestation for the troubled prawn star, who, at four months, is long overdue to give birth when most she-horse pregnancies last only two to three weeks. And she's definitely showing! These days, the suddenly huge-normous starfish is tipping the scales at 35 lbs., according to a report we stole from a pet store in Malibu.

Throw Your Hooves in the Air ...

... like you just don't care!!! Sarah Messica Parker reared up and partied down at a recent concert for Farm Aid.

Web Workouts for Tranimals

Her vagine is huge.


Her face is offensive.


WTF?

Happy Birthday Chestica!

Our favorite son of a preacher tran, Chestica Simpson, just celebrated another birthday. "I don't look a day over 27," yelled Chestica, here pictured after it blew out the candle in its rack. (Not pictured: The candle between its legs.) Chestica actually turned 46, but its tits - a birthday gift from dad! - turned 3 years old just a few days ago. (Aww!)
Here are Chestica's tips for looking as young as it does:
1. Spend at least six hours a day in a tanning bed giving head. Four hours of direct sunlight and a rim job is also acceptable.
2. Stay a virgin in just one hole. (That hole is off-limits until marriage.) Unsure of which hole to pick? Ask daddy! (That's Chestica's tip!)
3. Speaking of tips, only let the tip into the other holes.
4. For a healthy diet, wash down your Chicken of the Sea with a lot of coke.
5. You'll get a shiny mane and a glossy coat if you drink a singer/songwriter protein shake every day. (Chestica loves the John Mayer flavor!)

Sneak Peek at Hilary's New Movie!

S&T brings you the exclusive first pic from Hilary Shank's new flicka, Iron Jawed Angels 2: A Pony Tail. In this Freaky Friday update, Shanks plays dual roles as Alison, a young career woman fed up with the horse race, who leaves the city for greener pastures. And she also plays Sugar Foot, a beautiful young mare she meets along the way who is longing for a taste city livin'. Ewe guessed it! They decide to switch places and filliness ensues. A source close to the set tells S&T that this is Shanks' finest work yet. "She is incredible," the insider says. "She could win a another Oscar." And if she does land in the winner's circle in March, it will be a trifecta for the actress who also won for Foals Don't Cry and Million Dollar Gelding.